Individuality

Everyone values their individuality, but when we are talking about people who are multiple, this can take on a new level of importance. We are not the one dimensional fragmented bits of a person that the therapeutic model suggests. There are times when co-operation with others in the group is important; but there are also times when individual needs must be met. People in multiples need the chance to live their lives just the same as those who are not multiple.

We demand, yes demand, as much right to individual self expression as any other person. It is difficult for us to do this when we share a body with others. It takes a large amount of work, communication and respect for each other. We cannot overstate how important respect is. It is vital to respect each others hopes, fears, dreams and beliefs. This is how multiples mature, both individually and as a group.

Some of us have things in common with others in the group. The fact that Rachael and Todd share a common interest in psychology is a good example of that. This common ground gives way rapidly when you realise that Rachael is an environmentalist and Todd is a petrol-head. Some of the group are as different as you are to your neighbours.

To enable people to do their own thing requires that time is made in order for them to do so. There will have to be some compromise and even sacrifice, but life is like that anyway. We have often sat through church services with Amy or Rosie, but church is not something that we are all into. It may be that some people can come to the front and do their own thing irrespective of the others. But that would be a selfish and lead to a chaotic group.

To find a way of living that benefits every one of us is a great challenge. But we find a way, because we have to!

March 2023